so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
