no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
