It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
