Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
