so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
