In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
