so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
