if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
