I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
