Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
