brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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