I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
