she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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