yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
