i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
