no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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