I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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