When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
