D3 body, D1 cock
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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