you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
