too bad you live with your parents still
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
