he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
