Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
