My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
