I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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