I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
