oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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