You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
