The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
too bad you live with your parents still
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
