I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
