I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
