hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My penis needs a shock collar
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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