Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
