he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
