i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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