My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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