the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is the high leading the old right now
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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