I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
