Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
