You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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