Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
