Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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