God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
