Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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