I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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