I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
