Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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