The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
