I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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