Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
